So this really hasn’t been much of a winter at all. And who knows what the weather will be like tomorrow. Never mind tomorrow who knows what the weather will be like this afternoon. So I say if we are going to have some spring weather here and there let’s treat ourselves like we are preparing for summer. That’s right instead of letting it drive you crazy go get your nails done, or treat yourself to a pedicure. Sit out on the back porch and enjoy some tea while reading a fun book. You could do a little shopping for the newest summer clothes and get a head start on a little spring cleaning (ok ok maybe the cleaning is a little too far). The Christmas season is good and gone and decorations are put up things have slowed down so make some time for you. A great treat would be a facial or massage or better yet do both. And remember you only live once!
How do I know if the person I am dating is the right one?
Dear hopeless romantic . . .three things to make sure you “check out” before you say I do . . .
- Make sure that both you and your significant other see eye to eye on the top priorities in your life. For example, do you two share the same morals, values, and spiritual beliefs because trust me, when you are forced to make life decisions that married couples face (almost daily) you will want to be on the same page with your spouse. In fact, a powerful and quick way to answer this question is to ask yourself a slightly morbid question. “If something horrible were to happen and your spouse was left to raise your children without you, would they instill in the children the core beliefs that make you . . . you!”
- Do you have fun together? In life there will be ups and downs, good times, not so good times, hard times, and easier times. The constant factor in each moment will be each other. Every successful relationship is multifaceted. As a couple it is crucial that your relationship can handle the serious and deep real life issues that must be discussed. However, in the end if you are missing the “fun” facet with your significant other than life will be less then God intended for you both.
- Do they treat you better then they treat themselves. We all have “known” the girls who fall for the bad boy that acts like a jerk. So many of them fall for that guy and spend the rest of their life miserable. Although, that might be a bit of an appeal to some women, lets be honest, nobody wants to live with that forever and for sure doesn’t want a jerk raising her children! Now imagine falling for a guy who models Jesus’ selfless love and follows his example. One that gave his life so that ours would be better, and consistently tried to do everything in their power to serve. That all their actions, thoughts, and words were an intentional task to bring joy. That would be a relationship now!!
The reality is we all want the fairytale ending. The happily ever after! Ready for the good news? God wants that for us as well! It is our job to seek him first and all of the other things will be added unto us, including the perfect spouse. So we must date not only with our heart, but also with our spirit, allowing God to guide us to that perfect someone! In the mean time Happy Hunting!
My child is constantly whining! He whines when he is happy, sleepy, hungry, ect. I remember thinking when he was younger that it was just a lack of his ability to communicate, but it has continued as he has aged. What do I do?
Dear motivated mom…Let me just say, “girl I hear ya!” As a parent you go through the gamete: are they teething? are they hungry? Maybe they are getting sick, or the infamous they missed their nap. Tip number one, remember as frustrating as it is do not let them see you reacting to their fit. As a child if they can get a reaction from us then they have succeeded. So if a reaction is what they are looking for give them just the opposite, controlled consequences! For example, in the case of direct disobedience, a child would need to learn negative actions lead to negative consequences. Whining and throwing a fit is a behavior that will get them nowhere, except alone! Take the child to a nearby room where you can observe them to make sure they do not harm themselves, but they cannot see you and let them have a good cry. When they are able to ask normally or conduct themselves in a better manner then the attention they desired should be given. I know what you are saying, “She obviously doesn’t take her kids to Wal Mart” and I can assure you I do. And yes I know our kids feel that it is their duty to put on a show for every other shopper. This is a learned behavior and we must not give in or the temper tantrums in public will only get worse. Keep in mind anybody that is judging you doesn’t have kids, because everyone who does will only have sympathy. Do not give in if it’s a certain Sippy cup, a specific food, a toy, to be held (and the list goes on). Remember they are children and it is our job to mold them and shape them. They will respond to our guidance!
As a married couple we often get frustrated with our spouse with the little things more than the big ones. The big ones come at us and we huddle together and get through them. The little ones are different though…they don’t seem to require a plan or huddling together. They just slowly creep up on you and before you know it…youre frustrated. Luke and I found this to be the case with house hold chores. Our original set up was that Luke did finances and outside work and I did the inside. I came to realize that cleaning the inside was much bigger than his two tasks!
Unfortunately, I realized this after the frustration had set in. I noticed that I was getting short with him and not knowingly setting him up to fail. Every time he didn’t jump in and help I would notice and hold it against him (without him knowing)! Before long it finally came out (not the way you want it to come out) and what was a small issue became a big one. We finally sat down together and discussed what was going on. Here was our plan:
1. Let Luke know how I was feeling
2. Made a list of the chores
3. We chose ones we didn’t mind doing first (turns out…the ones I hated, he didn’t mind and vice versa!)
4. Also, talked about special messes, such as crazy kid accidents or party messes that require us both!
5. Decided on a plan to finish the night (normally we would put kids down to sleep and were too tired to clean the mess, which then piled up to the next day, thus making the messes bigger. small messes get cleaned easier! We decided that we weren’t done until the house was lightly straightened (pick things up and start a load of dishes)
We have realized in a healthy marriage, the enemy uses the small things to create a wedge. Make a plan to bring up any frustration that has the potential to build. Remember small messes get cleaned up quicker than big ones do!
I am so excited about starting this blog! I hope the things I share with you will be interesting, insightful and just plain fun!!!!
I would love to hear from you, so feel free to comment all you want!
Thanks for doing life together!